My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Susan. My heart breaks reading this. Please give our condolences to Mike and the boys and the rest of the family. HUGS!!
My prayers and love go out to your dear family, Lisa is at peace now. I believe our loved ones watch over us, I am glad your brother and his sons have had the gift of a wonderful wife and mother, if even for too short a time.
My condolences to you, Susan, and to your Brother Mike and his boys. They are a beautiful family and now they will forever have an angel to watch over them.
Susan Our Deepest Sympathy goes out to You, Mike and his boys Lisa is now at rest and in the hands of God No more pain She will surely be missed God Bless all
Sue, A dear friend of ours,Dolores, who used to take Lisa to her seemingly endless oncologist appointments sent this letter to me. It is a letter that Lisa sent out to all of her friends after a very special night just two short months ago. The Pat Chirrochi who she speaks of is a local news anchorwoman in Philly. Doctor Somers, her breast cancer surgeon, who invited her to speak, because he found her to be an inspiration to women with breast cancer. It warmed my heart to see this for the first time tonight. I would have given her the moon and the stars to take her mind off the pain. She was so beautiful. ( I didn’t make any spelling corrections. She was so excited, she never even bothered to spell check)
Date: Fri, 9 May 2008 04:06:23 +0000
Hi Everyone. I am sending one email out to all of you instead of typing over and over…….TONIGHT WAS AWESOME!!!
What a special night and a special group of people. Mike and I arrived at the Philmont Country Club, which is absolutely gorgeous. We started laughing when all we saw were Mercedes in the parking area and we thought “we really are out of place here”. I had to beg Mike to restrain himself from eating all the auderves the waiters were walking around with, but Dr Somers was joining in too, so I guess it was okay.
We were met by Doctor Somers and his wife Ronnie, she is the nicest lady and made me feel very comfortable right away. We had drinks and audervs(spelled wrong) at the bar as the room filled.We ran into some people we actually new from different things. Doctor Somers introduced us to the new head of radiology at Einstein, who Dr Somers stole from U of P…I think. This doctor is on the cutting edge of radiology, his sister has breast cancer, as well as his cousin.
Bobbie Somers is something, he said he performed three surgeries that morning, had office hours in the afternoon and now here he was at this dinner…I don’t know where he gets his energy…Mike and I had to take a nap this afternoon!
Mike and I kept saying how everything felt like an “out of body experience” , there was no denying that the night was going to be very special and one to remember. A once in a lifetime night.
A woman who heads the breast cancer action group and ran the show tonight introduced herself to Mike and I, and as she was walking away, I heard her tell someone, “she is our guest speaker”. I looked at Mike and almost choked on my wine. Little old me was going to be the ONE speaker and Pat Chirraci from Channel Three News the other! And Pat was following me!
When we took our seats of course Mike and I were at the head table with Doctor Somers and his wife, his daughter Debra who is also a doctor and actually performed my needle biopsy and gave me THE RESULTS eight years ago, her husband Steve Copit, who is drop dead gorgeous, was my doctor for the reconstruction. There was the head of radiology and one open seat next to me……..in comes Pat Chirrachi and she sits right next to me. What a nice lady. We talked throughout the night. She is just as sweet in person as she is on the news, and beautiful too! I’ve always liked her.
After dinner was served, Doctor Somers introduced me and said some very kind things about me and Mike, I got up to the stage and of course the microphone was too low, I’m a head taller then Dr Somers, so I took off one heel and began my speech. I did really good until I got to the point where I talk about the boys, choked up a little, of course that’s when Mike decided to take my picture which is so ugly I wont be sending it out, I regained my composure and finished the speech and all I remember is applause and people standing. It was unreal!
Pat did her speech and mentioned me, Lisa! Now were on a first name basis! LOL! She said I did a great job and was very touching, as did Mrs Somers and Dr Somer, people I don’t know came up to me and thanked me. Mothers, women who have been down the same road thanked me. It was out of this world! So surreal.
A photographer took pictures of me, Mike, Dr Somers, Mrs Somers, some other doctors and Pat a few times. Dr Somers said he will send me copies. Our camera of course went dead after five pics.
After everything was over Pat C. gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “Gold Bless You”. Being me and not knowing what to say back….I hugged her and said, “God Bless You Too”. The nicest group of down to earth people you could ever meet, who have dedicated their lives to helping others…it was very touching.
A few women came up to me when everything was wrapping up and thanked me for telling my story, how they could relate because they had children etc.
A great end to a great evening. It feels good that I may have helped or inspired someone or at the least, made them feel less afraid.
I am exhausted and cant wait to get under the covers. Love you all and Thanks for your support with my speech. Lisa.
Comment by Brother Mike — August 2, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
Her Speech:
May 8th 2008.
My name is Lisa Ann Smalley and I have been a breast cancer survivor for 8 years now. I am married to my best friend Mike, who I’ve known since I was 16, and am the Mother of two boys, Michael and David.
I’m happy to say that I celebrated my 46th birthday this past Sunday May 4th, and my 25th wedding anniversary yesterday, May 7th.
I want to thank Dr Somers for asking my husband and me to be here. When Doctor Somers called and asked me to speak tonight I said, “sure, great, I’ll do it”. But when I hung up the phone, I thought, “oh no, how am I going to do this? How am I going to fit 8 years into a few short moments”? But there is no way I could ever say no to Dr Somers. He may be my doctor, but more importantly, he is “our friend”. He is a special spirit, a cancer survivor himself, who was and continues to be a guiding light in in our lives. He treats us as if we were his own children and has carried us along through it all and we love him.
My husband who is the writer in our family, came home from work with a twelve page speech for me to read tonight, I think the only thing he left out was my blood type. So we trashed that and went with Dr Somers advice which has never failed us. That advice was, “ speak from my heart.”
As for my background:
While getting dressed one day I noticed a small, pee size lump in my left breast.
The lump was biopsied and found to be cancerous
I had numerous lumpectomies
A mastectomy with no lymph node involvement
Reconstruction with tissue expanders
Chemo, radiation
Oh, and about this time my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Again Dr Somers was our “Go to Guy” and directed us once again in the right path.
A few years later I noticed my gate changing, I developed a limp. I saw an orthopedic doctor and he told me my cancer had spread to different areas in my bones but in particular to my left femur.
I had surgery to place a metal rod into my left femur to support the bone
More radiation and some chemo
I was on Herceptin for two years and I am now on the newest cancer targeting medication called Tykerb.
My profession was a dance instructor and at the time I was teaching dance to 3 to 5 year olds. Yet another challenge.
When I was given the news that I had breast cancer, I was home alone in my bedroom. When I hung up the phone, you can imagine what was going through my mind. Everything was in every direction. I walked out of my bedroom and in front of me were the bedroom’s of my two sons. That’s when I lost it. I went into “Mamma Bear” mode and immediately thought, “I have to protect my sons”. It was as if something I couldn’t touch or reason with was trying to harm them, and I felt helpless.
At the time my oldest son Michael was 16 and my youngest, David, was 14. Michael was just entering high school. This was suppose to be a really happy time, and I felt as their Mother, I was ruining everything for them.
Both Mike and I reassured them that everything would be fine, and I made them promise to do good in school, enjoy there lives outside of school, and not to let this illness affect them to a point were it was paralyzing their ability to strive and move forward with their lives.
I’d like to add that the boys thought it was so cool that their Mom could get them to the head of the line for every ride and attraction while we vacationed in Disney World. One of the cancer “perks”, as we called them! When it came time for my husband to shave my head, my youngest, David, insisted that he shave his head too…. Both now bald, we turned to look at my oldest son Michael, who said “ NO WAY !” But that was okay.
With support from our wonderful family and a close circle of our very best friends, we found our way. In particular, our good friends, Dolores and Nick Esposito, who invited us over for countless dinners when they knew I wasn’t really comfortable going out into public because I was bald, or didn’t feel so great. And Dolores dropping off meals, so my kids didn’t have to eat cereal for dinner. We were well fed and supported by them and their family. All the phone calls, prayers, and well wishes helped lift us up.
While I was on chemo, most of the day I would lay in bed. At about 3:15 I’d get myself up, put on some make-up and my bandanna, and stand in the kitchen waiting for my boys to return from school. I wanted them to see and feel that there was hope, that I was still the Mom they knew just like always. Then after dinner I would go up to my bedroom, close the door, and wait for my husband to come home from work. It was a relief to know that someone I could show the raw emotion to, would soon be with me. It was a release from the acting and the protecting.
My husband always calls me “The Bull”. Being born in May, under that sign is not my fault. But I think that bullheadedness is what helps me to survive. I don’t like being characterized as, “the sick woman” or the “cancer patient”. Thats not who I am. Thats not my spirit. Being headstrong and having set my plans for the future, I was furious that this things was ruining everything, so I decided to accept it, fight back, and fight back hard.
In the beginning I had made deals with God…. Just let me see the boys graduate high school…. Just let me see the boys go to college…. Just let me see them with good jobs and able to go out in the world and survive on their own. As the boys were growing up I’d save toys that were special to them, things that I wanted my grandchildren one day to play with and I stored them in a closet in my house. Now what I’m hoping for is to see my sons happily married, and my ultimate wish, for my grandchildren to ask me if “they can go into the closet and play with the toys that Daddy use to play with”. And my bullheadedness just might get me there.
Being a dance instructor has always been my love, my outlet, my stress release. If you peek into my kitchen window any given Saturday or Sunday morning, you may see me dancing around the kitchen to Chorus Line or my favorite “Chicago”! Mike will deny this, but he joins in too! We laugh, plan our day, simple things are always the best and most full filling. I’ve read spiritual books, my favorite being “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle. If everyone read this book and followed his teachings the world would be a much better place.
In closing I’d like to say that my boys are now men. They both graduated from high school with honors. They both graduated from College. Michael is 23 , is a Network Engineer and just purchased his first house. David is 21 and works for Bensalem Police Dept, Building A better Bensalem, and is a youth counselor for troubled teens. Together we are not just surviving, we are thriving. As my favorite author, Eckhart Tolle would say, we are living in the now, and life is good.
Comment by Brother Mike — August 2, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
Susan and Mike,
I haven’t read your journal since last weekend, and am so sad to hear of your loss. I have prayed for Lisa and for the rest of your family. Words at a time like this do not come easily. I have lost loved ones in my life and there is a hole in both your heart and your life. I know that Lisa is, at last, at peace and without pain and suffering for the first time in 8 years. I know that she will be watching over all of you. My prayers go out to all of you. God Bless you all.
Dear Susan,
So sorry to hear about your family loss.
I hope that your brother and nephews are slowly recovering from such a huge loss.
Susan, I too was soo disapointed yesterday about the road lottery. I put in for it so many times and not a chance:( Is there any way we can still go in the park during those days?
I will be in Fairbanks from the 11th through the 18th and would be so sad if I cannot go in the park, at the least the usual 15 miles in. I know it is supposed to be 400 winners per day, but what if they all do not show up?
I think they are not fair all the way because they say only one entry per household but you can tell that by their last names that there is more than one person in the same household that won. What can we do?
I am glad you and your husband had a great time in Valdez, I was there briefly one year but I thought it was beautiful.
Have a great day!
Vivian tamo.js@juno.com
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Susan. My heart breaks reading this. Please give our condolences to Mike and the boys and the rest of the family. HUGS!!
[Reply]
Comment by Abby C. — July 31, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
Susan,
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. My prayers are with all of you.
[Reply]
Comment by Darla — July 31, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
My prayers and love go out to your dear family, Lisa is at peace now. I believe our loved ones watch over us, I am glad your brother and his sons have had the gift of a wonderful wife and mother, if even for too short a time.
[Reply]
Comment by Therese — July 31, 2008 @ 5:13 pm
My condolences to you, Susan, and to your Brother Mike and his boys. They are a beautiful family and now they will forever have an angel to watch over them.
[Reply]
Comment by Lynn in MN — August 1, 2008 @ 3:27 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
[Reply]
Comment by Molly — August 1, 2008 @ 3:59 am
Susan Our Deepest Sympathy goes out to You, Mike and his boys Lisa is now at rest and in the hands of God No more pain She will surely be missed God Bless all
[Reply]
Comment by John & Shirley Strauser — August 1, 2008 @ 6:35 am
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I pray for strength and comfort for you all. God Bless.
[Reply]
Comment by Kim Rentz — August 1, 2008 @ 8:05 am
Sue, A dear friend of ours,Dolores, who used to take Lisa to her seemingly endless oncologist appointments sent this letter to me. It is a letter that Lisa sent out to all of her friends after a very special night just two short months ago. The Pat Chirrochi who she speaks of is a local news anchorwoman in Philly. Doctor Somers, her breast cancer surgeon, who invited her to speak, because he found her to be an inspiration to women with breast cancer. It warmed my heart to see this for the first time tonight. I would have given her the moon and the stars to take her mind off the pain. She was so beautiful. ( I didn’t make any spelling corrections. She was so excited, she never even bothered to spell check)
Date: Fri, 9 May 2008 04:06:23 +0000
Hi Everyone. I am sending one email out to all of you instead of typing over and over…….TONIGHT WAS AWESOME!!!
What a special night and a special group of people. Mike and I arrived at the Philmont Country Club, which is absolutely gorgeous. We started laughing when all we saw were Mercedes in the parking area and we thought “we really are out of place here”. I had to beg Mike to restrain himself from eating all the auderves the waiters were walking around with, but Dr Somers was joining in too, so I guess it was okay.
We were met by Doctor Somers and his wife Ronnie, she is the nicest lady and made me feel very comfortable right away. We had drinks and audervs(spelled wrong) at the bar as the room filled.We ran into some people we actually new from different things. Doctor Somers introduced us to the new head of radiology at Einstein, who Dr Somers stole from U of P…I think. This doctor is on the cutting edge of radiology, his sister has breast cancer, as well as his cousin.
Bobbie Somers is something, he said he performed three surgeries that morning, had office hours in the afternoon and now here he was at this dinner…I don’t know where he gets his energy…Mike and I had to take a nap this afternoon!
Mike and I kept saying how everything felt like an “out of body experience” , there was no denying that the night was going to be very special and one to remember. A once in a lifetime night.
A woman who heads the breast cancer action group and ran the show tonight introduced herself to Mike and I, and as she was walking away, I heard her tell someone, “she is our guest speaker”. I looked at Mike and almost choked on my wine. Little old me was going to be the ONE speaker and Pat Chirraci from Channel Three News the other! And Pat was following me!
When we took our seats of course Mike and I were at the head table with Doctor Somers and his wife, his daughter Debra who is also a doctor and actually performed my needle biopsy and gave me THE RESULTS eight years ago, her husband Steve Copit, who is drop dead gorgeous, was my doctor for the reconstruction. There was the head of radiology and one open seat next to me……..in comes Pat Chirrachi and she sits right next to me. What a nice lady. We talked throughout the night. She is just as sweet in person as she is on the news, and beautiful too! I’ve always liked her.
After dinner was served, Doctor Somers introduced me and said some very kind things about me and Mike, I got up to the stage and of course the microphone was too low, I’m a head taller then Dr Somers, so I took off one heel and began my speech. I did really good until I got to the point where I talk about the boys, choked up a little, of course that’s when Mike decided to take my picture which is so ugly I wont be sending it out, I regained my composure and finished the speech and all I remember is applause and people standing. It was unreal!
Pat did her speech and mentioned me, Lisa! Now were on a first name basis! LOL! She said I did a great job and was very touching, as did Mrs Somers and Dr Somer, people I don’t know came up to me and thanked me. Mothers, women who have been down the same road thanked me. It was out of this world! So surreal.
A photographer took pictures of me, Mike, Dr Somers, Mrs Somers, some other doctors and Pat a few times. Dr Somers said he will send me copies. Our camera of course went dead after five pics.
After everything was over Pat C. gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “Gold Bless You”. Being me and not knowing what to say back….I hugged her and said, “God Bless You Too”. The nicest group of down to earth people you could ever meet, who have dedicated their lives to helping others…it was very touching.
A few women came up to me when everything was wrapping up and thanked me for telling my story, how they could relate because they had children etc.
A great end to a great evening. It feels good that I may have helped or inspired someone or at the least, made them feel less afraid.
I am exhausted and cant wait to get under the covers. Love you all and Thanks for your support with my speech. Lisa.
[Reply]
Comment by Brother Mike — August 2, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
Her Speech:
May 8th 2008.
My name is Lisa Ann Smalley and I have been a breast cancer survivor for 8 years now. I am married to my best friend Mike, who I’ve known since I was 16, and am the Mother of two boys, Michael and David.
I’m happy to say that I celebrated my 46th birthday this past Sunday May 4th, and my 25th wedding anniversary yesterday, May 7th.
I want to thank Dr Somers for asking my husband and me to be here. When Doctor Somers called and asked me to speak tonight I said, “sure, great, I’ll do it”. But when I hung up the phone, I thought, “oh no, how am I going to do this? How am I going to fit 8 years into a few short moments”? But there is no way I could ever say no to Dr Somers. He may be my doctor, but more importantly, he is “our friend”. He is a special spirit, a cancer survivor himself, who was and continues to be a guiding light in in our lives. He treats us as if we were his own children and has carried us along through it all and we love him.
My husband who is the writer in our family, came home from work with a twelve page speech for me to read tonight, I think the only thing he left out was my blood type. So we trashed that and went with Dr Somers advice which has never failed us. That advice was, “ speak from my heart.”
As for my background:
While getting dressed one day I noticed a small, pee size lump in my left breast.
The lump was biopsied and found to be cancerous
I had numerous lumpectomies
A mastectomy with no lymph node involvement
Reconstruction with tissue expanders
Chemo, radiation
Oh, and about this time my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Again Dr Somers was our “Go to Guy” and directed us once again in the right path.
A few years later I noticed my gate changing, I developed a limp. I saw an orthopedic doctor and he told me my cancer had spread to different areas in my bones but in particular to my left femur.
I had surgery to place a metal rod into my left femur to support the bone
More radiation and some chemo
I was on Herceptin for two years and I am now on the newest cancer targeting medication called Tykerb.
My profession was a dance instructor and at the time I was teaching dance to 3 to 5 year olds. Yet another challenge.
When I was given the news that I had breast cancer, I was home alone in my bedroom. When I hung up the phone, you can imagine what was going through my mind. Everything was in every direction. I walked out of my bedroom and in front of me were the bedroom’s of my two sons. That’s when I lost it. I went into “Mamma Bear” mode and immediately thought, “I have to protect my sons”. It was as if something I couldn’t touch or reason with was trying to harm them, and I felt helpless.
At the time my oldest son Michael was 16 and my youngest, David, was 14. Michael was just entering high school. This was suppose to be a really happy time, and I felt as their Mother, I was ruining everything for them.
Both Mike and I reassured them that everything would be fine, and I made them promise to do good in school, enjoy there lives outside of school, and not to let this illness affect them to a point were it was paralyzing their ability to strive and move forward with their lives.
I’d like to add that the boys thought it was so cool that their Mom could get them to the head of the line for every ride and attraction while we vacationed in Disney World. One of the cancer “perks”, as we called them! When it came time for my husband to shave my head, my youngest, David, insisted that he shave his head too…. Both now bald, we turned to look at my oldest son Michael, who said “ NO WAY !” But that was okay.
With support from our wonderful family and a close circle of our very best friends, we found our way. In particular, our good friends, Dolores and Nick Esposito, who invited us over for countless dinners when they knew I wasn’t really comfortable going out into public because I was bald, or didn’t feel so great. And Dolores dropping off meals, so my kids didn’t have to eat cereal for dinner. We were well fed and supported by them and their family. All the phone calls, prayers, and well wishes helped lift us up.
While I was on chemo, most of the day I would lay in bed. At about 3:15 I’d get myself up, put on some make-up and my bandanna, and stand in the kitchen waiting for my boys to return from school. I wanted them to see and feel that there was hope, that I was still the Mom they knew just like always. Then after dinner I would go up to my bedroom, close the door, and wait for my husband to come home from work. It was a relief to know that someone I could show the raw emotion to, would soon be with me. It was a release from the acting and the protecting.
My husband always calls me “The Bull”. Being born in May, under that sign is not my fault. But I think that bullheadedness is what helps me to survive. I don’t like being characterized as, “the sick woman” or the “cancer patient”. Thats not who I am. Thats not my spirit. Being headstrong and having set my plans for the future, I was furious that this things was ruining everything, so I decided to accept it, fight back, and fight back hard.
In the beginning I had made deals with God…. Just let me see the boys graduate high school…. Just let me see the boys go to college…. Just let me see them with good jobs and able to go out in the world and survive on their own. As the boys were growing up I’d save toys that were special to them, things that I wanted my grandchildren one day to play with and I stored them in a closet in my house. Now what I’m hoping for is to see my sons happily married, and my ultimate wish, for my grandchildren to ask me if “they can go into the closet and play with the toys that Daddy use to play with”. And my bullheadedness just might get me there.
Being a dance instructor has always been my love, my outlet, my stress release. If you peek into my kitchen window any given Saturday or Sunday morning, you may see me dancing around the kitchen to Chorus Line or my favorite “Chicago”! Mike will deny this, but he joins in too! We laugh, plan our day, simple things are always the best and most full filling. I’ve read spiritual books, my favorite being “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle. If everyone read this book and followed his teachings the world would be a much better place.
In closing I’d like to say that my boys are now men. They both graduated from high school with honors. They both graduated from College. Michael is 23 , is a Network Engineer and just purchased his first house. David is 21 and works for Bensalem Police Dept, Building A better Bensalem, and is a youth counselor for troubled teens. Together we are not just surviving, we are thriving. As my favorite author, Eckhart Tolle would say, we are living in the now, and life is good.
[Reply]
Comment by Brother Mike — August 2, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
Susan and Mike,
I haven’t read your journal since last weekend, and am so sad to hear of your loss. I have prayed for Lisa and for the rest of your family. Words at a time like this do not come easily. I have lost loved ones in my life and there is a hole in both your heart and your life. I know that Lisa is, at last, at peace and without pain and suffering for the first time in 8 years. I know that she will be watching over all of you. My prayers go out to all of you. God Bless you all.
[Reply]
Comment by Marylyn — August 3, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
Dear Susan,
So sorry to hear about your family loss.
I hope that your brother and nephews are slowly recovering from such a huge loss.
Susan, I too was soo disapointed yesterday about the road lottery. I put in for it so many times and not a chance:( Is there any way we can still go in the park during those days?
I will be in Fairbanks from the 11th through the 18th and would be so sad if I cannot go in the park, at the least the usual 15 miles in. I know it is supposed to be 400 winners per day, but what if they all do not show up?
I think they are not fair all the way because they say only one entry per household but you can tell that by their last names that there is more than one person in the same household that won. What can we do?
I am glad you and your husband had a great time in Valdez, I was there briefly one year but I thought it was beautiful.
Have a great day!
Vivian tamo.js@juno.com
[Reply]
Comment by Vivian McNamara — August 15, 2008 @ 6:18 am