Living in Alaska - Life in the Last Frontier

REST IN PEACE, SEAN

It has been a week since the fatal accident which took the life of my nephew and his friend. A third young man is recovering from extensive surgery to correct internal injuries. The driver  - who is responsible for this horrific crash - suffered a broken leg.

Initial reports painted these kids as irresponsible and intoxicated, but the DA has recanted his statement that beer bottles and a controlled substance were found at the scene.  However, this doesn’t excuse the actions of the driver - a 20 year old man, who “put the pedal to the metal” when he saw police lights flashing in the rear view mirror after racing through a speed trap. The vehicle was going nearly 100mph when it crashed into the building, killing Sean and his friend TJ.

My brother Steve and sister-in-law Diane received the phone call that Sean had been involved in an accident, in the early morning hours on Saturday. They rushed to the hospital to find out that Sean had a traumatic head injury, and had very little brain activity. The doctors were not hopeful at all; if Sean survived, he’d be in a vegetative state.

Sean carried an organ donor card, and my brother and his family were counseled by the folks who run the organ donor and transplant program. When it was determined that Sean was officially gone, they honored his wishes, and donated his organs so that other lives could be saved.

From what I understand, his heart went to a man in his 40s who has a wife and children, and has been waiting for a long time for a new heart.  There is some degree of comfort in knowing that a part of Sean is still alive. I’m not sure what other organs were also gifted to those in need.

It has been a very hard week for all of us. I can’t even imagine the soul-wrenching agony that Steve, Diane, and niece Rachel are going through. I know for me, it’s been a week of never-ending tears, sad dreams, and a desire to gather up my children and lock them safely away from the dangers in this world.

I am thankful for the friends and family who have shared tearful conversations with me. I am also thankful to all of you, who commented or sent private messages of sympathy.  Grief, not only for the loss of Sean, but for the rest of his family, is so heavy on my heart. I feel like I’ve lost one of my own children.

I feel sad that I didn’t know Sean the way that the rest of my family did. We moved away from Philly in 1993, when Sean was only a baby.  I kept up with what was going on in his life through conversations with Diane, but that’s not the same as seeing him on a regular basis and spending time with him. Now that he’s gone, his friends have been posting videos and photos on Facebook, and I’ve found myself smiling at his sense of humor and typical teenage antics. I would have loved to have spent time with him over the years.

I want to believe that Sean is now in the loving embrace of my parents - his grandparents - and that we will all be together again when our time on this earth comes to an end. It’s what comforts me.

Sean touched the lives of so many people, and was loved by everyone who knew him.  The world has lost a wonderful young man who had a great future ahead of him. I hope he’s building motorcycles for the angels now.

Rest peacefully, Sean.

SEAN STEVEN SMALLEY

APRIL 29, 1992 - AUGUST 15, 2010

Early on Saturday morning, my nephew Sean - age 18 - was a passenger in a vehicle involved in a deadly crash. The driver and another friend survived. A third friend was killed instantly. Sean was brought into the hospital alive, but 99% brain dead.

Late Saturday evening, my handsome and fun-loving nephew Sean was gone. Sean is the son of my brother Steve and my sister-in-law Diane, and the brother of Rachel.  Sean just graduated high school in June and had a promising future as a mechanic.

Please keep my brother and his family in your prayers, that they may find the strength to get through this sorrowful time in their lives.

No words could express the sadness we all feel in our hearts. Rest peacefully, Sean.  We love you and miss you terribly.

ADVENTURES IN TIE-DYE

Several months ago, I introduced my friend Kerry to my friend Deanna. I’ve known Kerry for several years, as she found this blog a long time ago. We emailed each other from time to time over the years and finally met in real life earlier this year.  I met Deanna and family on Nordale Road on April 6th, the second night of the most spectacular aurora display I’d ever seen.

Both Kerry and Deanna have two daughters and they are all close in age. I was happy to read that they all went to Chena Lakes together to enjoy the sunshine and a swim. The girls got along wonderfully, and it looks like Kerry and Deanna enjoy each others company too. I’m so glad I brought them together. You can never have too many friends.

This past weekend, Kerry invited me to join her and Deanna and girls, for an afternoon of tie-dying clothes and a delicious BBQ. When I told her I had tentative plans to help my friend Lori paint her cabin, she invited Lori over to have some food with us too. That was so sweet of her! (Lori accepted the invitation.)

Kerry thought of everything. She had plenty of new tees to go around - to include adult sizes for the *big kids*. She had several dye kits, and plenty of rubber bands too. I couldn’t wait to get started.

I haven’t tie-dyed anything since Vacation Bible School in the late 60s/early 70s. Back in those days, there were buckets of RIT dye and you had to dip each part of your rubber-banded t-shirt into the colors. The dye wasn’t as vibrant then.

Nowadays, the dye is in bottles (much like hair dye bottles), and you snip off the tip to squirt the dye directly on your shirt. This allows more precise placement of many different colors in one area. You can also use the dye (and a steady hand) to draw designs on the shirts, such as landscapes, monograms, and stripes, etc.  But we opted to do it the traditional way, and wrapped rubber bands around different areas to keep the dye from penetrating.

We really had a blast! I felt like a big kid again myself, and couldn’t wait to see the results. It’s not instant gratification though. You have to put the dyed shirt (very wet with dye and water) into a ziploc bag for at least 12 hours to let the dye set. Then you rinse it off with a hose outside (unless you don’t mind dyeing your washtub or washing machine). When the water runs clear, you can throw it in the washer with a tiny bit of detergent.

This is also a very messy project. If you decide to do it with kids, make sure they’re wearing clothes that can be ruined, and rubber or plastic gloves. The dye is permanent and has a life expectancy on skin almost as long as a Sharpie marker does! And even though the directions suggest you can do the project indoors on a table covered with plastic, I’d recommend you do it outdoors, over grass or plastic sheeting, because it will probably stain concrete.

Despite the potential for mess, everyone did a good job of keeping the dye on the project without getting too much on ourselves.  I’d love to do it again. Maybe socks, or a scarf! A scarf would be neat. I wonder if you can tie-dye fleece? I could make a matching hat and scarf.

Here’s my very groovy shirt from the front and the back:

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